Divorce -

by Terry Zabelny
(Rochester, New york)

Is it un-christian when going through a Divorce to ask for what the law allows me to receive as far as Marital property ? My husband feels it is wrong and wants me to have nothing. The divorce stems from his anger issues that he failed to seek help with. Not anything I did to him. It was an abusive marriage. Verbal and emotional. I need to start over and will need funds to do that. I believe I earned something after years of taking care of him. Thank you.

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Mar 22, 2012
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Peace within you< prayer for your marrige and forgiveness
by: Veronica

Lord we thank you for your love, grace and mercy. You have shown us to forgive and to love unconditionally. lord in the name of Jesus I ask you to vanish all anger present in the lives of Terry in her husband. Lord through her words the love she feels for he husband is still present. We all make mistakes. Lord show this couple to forgive, teach them to communicate and help them let go of the anger that is destroying their marrige. Lord allow Terry the time she needs to heal her inner self, teach her how to focus on your word and to keep pure at heart. A marrige is sacred. People meet according to your will. Please for give us lord has we break your hear with the word Divorce. Let it be your will God. Mend the tears in this marrage and bring happyness to them all. Terry focus on prayer. Focus on forgiveness and pray for your husband. You have yet to discover the power of prayer for our spouse. Giving up is not a choice, Jesus gave his life to save us. Pray for it to be God's will and for you to allow God to lead your life. Pray for inner peace for youre husband and may you both be blessed. Amen

Mar 22, 2012
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Peace within you< prayer for your marrige and forgiveness
by: Veronica

Lord we thank you for your love, grace and mercy. You have shown us to forgive and to love unconditionally. lord in the name of Jesus I ask you to vanish all anger present in the lives of Terry in her husband. Lord through her words the love she feels for he husband is still present. We all make mistakes. Lord show this couple to forgive, teach them to communicate and help them let go of the anger that is destroying their marrige. Lord allow Terry the time she needs to heal her inner self, teach her how to focus on your word and to keep pure at heart. A marrige is sacred. People meet according to your will. Please for give us lord has we break your hear with the word Divorce. Let it be your will God. Mend the tears in this marrage and bring happyness to them all. Terry focus on prayer. Focus on forgiveness and pray for your husband. You have yet to discover the power of prayer for our spouse. Giving up is not a choice, Jesus gave his life to save us. Pray for it to be God's will and for you to allow God to lead your life. Pray for inner peace for youre husband and may you both be blessed. Amen

Feb 08, 2011
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Judge not
by: Anonymous

Saints let us be scriptural, let Terry be... I refer to the following scroptures: Matthew 7:2
Luke 6: 37
Terry keep your focus on God He is the true judge

Jul 10, 2010
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Divorce
by: Anonymous

My conscience is fine. When I said I took care of him , it meant I was a good wife to him. It would take alot of time to explain his sudden anger outbursts. I do not know what you meant in your first note. Caring for my Husband means just that. Cook , clean, ....... Intimacy. All of that. He would mock me for going to Church. I tried very hard to help him understand that anger is distructive. And anger that i did not deserve was wrong. Because someone drives down the street to fast he would throw pennies at their car. And then have a hostile attitude towards me. Like It was my fault. Whatever, counseling would have been a help but he does not believe in going. So I did . And it did help . And now I am strong enough to move on. Do not think for one minute this was easy to do . It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. But abuse of any kind is so damaging. And when you try and try all by yourself you eventually just get tired and give up. But I am a Christian, do read scripture every night, pray often, go to Church, and help others. So I believe God will see me through this. Maybe you went through your own situation and were treated poorly by the other person . But I can tell you I never loved anyone like my husband and he through all of that away. Judge me if you feel you need to but I do not deserve to be left with nothing. I need to rebuild my life and work very hard at a full time job as well as a part time job. So I am not trying to hurt him.I simply was asking because my husband thinks a Christian - a true Christian would just give him everything.

Jul 09, 2010
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Response-Response
by: John A.

Terry- I did not mean to offend. You say that you cared for your husband for years, how so? Does he have some physical ailment, psychological ailment? I am assuming that children are not in the picture as that aspect would change things considerably. Good Luck. May your conscience guide you.

Jul 08, 2010
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Response to comments-
by: Terry

I do not understand the comments. I find them to be rather judgemental. It sounds as though I as a wife who cared for my husband for years should get kicked to the curb. And as far 3 sides to a story I agree. But that is why I would have gone through Marriage counseling ! I went through counseling alone. Anger is damaging. And while I do not feel I can live that way anymore I do not believe I should be thrown away either. Had I not gone to seek help - with the Pastor of my Church as well as Christian based counseling,I may agree with your statement,but I did.It was my husband who chose not to. Refused to get help. So I thank you but disagree with much of what you wrote John.

Jul 08, 2010
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Divorce response
by: Brian G.

Terry-
Divorces can be very confrontational. Sometimes it is best to let go of the negative, cut your losses and move on. I think you have already made up your mind as to what to do. You have to live with yourself no matter what the outcome.

Jul 08, 2010
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Divorce-Response
by: John Adams

Well Terry, It seems that it would only be considered un-Christian if you were claim to be Christian, but in real life you did not extoll those basic principalls. I believe this is called hypocrisy. For example; if one were to leave out information while explaining one's circumstances in order to make one's story come across in a certain way, or to intentionally try to roll someone over and claim that, "I'm only going after what the law allows" knowing full well that one is un-deserving of those requests. We all know that there are at least three sides to a story. You, Terry have presented one side and I suppose if it somehow makes you feel better to leave off many parts of the story, so be it.

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